I’ve been struggling lately. Leo’s getting big so quick, I feel like I can’t keep up. I’ve just adjusted to one “stage” and he’s on to the next one. He’s getting bored so quickly and napping less, he’s teething and mad that he can’t QUUUITE crawl yet. There’s been a lot of yelling. Pretty much constant yelling, actually. Then there’s all the house work to do, and errands to run. Dishes to wash, dinner to cook. Then more dishes. Then breakfast… and through it all, Leo yells. Piles of laundry everywhere. There’s so much to do in this house that I don’t feel justified in leaving it – unless I’m going grocery shopping. I got pushed to my breaking point. A couple of times. And sometimes, I still feel myself teetering there, almost on the edge. But it got bad enough that I stopped for a second to try to figure out WHY. And I realized something really obvious. I was tired of being cooped up and lonely. I needed to get out. Away from the million and one things that I hadn’t done yet. So today, Little Man and I went on an adventure. We drove around Mamaville. I cranked the radio, rolled down my window and cruised. Little Man and I talked. I sang along to all the songs. He laughed at me. We went by and said hello to FireDaddy and the Fire Trucks. Leo napped. A lot. I got some errands done. And then, we came home, sat down, and read books. That’s it. I didn’t wash clothes. I didn’t try to simultaneously entertain Leo and dust the living room. I didn’t put him in his Ergo and vacuum. I just sat there and read with him. Then I watched him eat his board book. Then we giggled at each other like maniacs for a while. I got to talk to a good friend when she called. We sat in Daddy’s recliner and read more books. Little Man decided to nurse. Then he decided to fall asleep. Without screaming. Without fighting. It was then that I realized the extent of my stupidity. In trying to PUSH Leo to allow me to do what I had before he came along, I was not only pushing myself to the breaking point, but him as well. It didn’t matter to him if the TV was dust free or the kitchen spotless. It didn’t matter if I mailed out all the horribly overdue Thank You cards. It mattered that I was there to read him more than one book at a time. It mattered that when he looked up to check in with me, I wasn’t too distracted to notice. Today, I did something that mattered. I paid attention. And yes, at some point, I have to get my chores done. I have to shower, and take care of “me”. But guess what? I’m not stressing about it. And that means I’ve already managed to be more productive.
Guess which song Leo and I listened to most today? Go ahead – click the link… you know you want to!
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da…Feelin’ Groovy.
What cha knowin’?
I’ve come to watch your flowers growin’.
Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me?
I’ve got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all it’s petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.