Lets Make a Demanding Job Even Harder.

Let’s all keep pointing our fingers at each other and judging. Because, really, raising a healthy, happy, sane human being from a tiny fetus in Mommy’s belly all the way to adulthood isn’t NEAR difficult enough. Let’s deny each other support and kinship, let’s judge based on skin deep choices, and let’s teach our kids that there REALLY ARE two “sides”. THEM, and US. And THEY are always, always wrong. Not just different, WRONG. And they’re probably going to hell, too. Let’s teach our kids that it is not okay to see things from a different perspective, and that all we really need to be is RIGHT. Because that strikes me as a sane, healthy message to pass along to the next generation. Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that we have to swallow OUR beliefs, or deny our confidence in our choices. I’m just saying that it’s possible, whether we agree with the choices other parents make or not, to love the person. To support the journey, without expectations. Without the “I’m your friend, now you must be just like me” clique weirdness. And to just – stop taking it all so seriously. I’ve had some CRAPTACULAR Mom moments here lately. Leo has turned 2. The times are upon us, and they are hard. I’m working now and I have less time to “keep up appearances”. But you know what? I am a DAMN good Mama. Warts and quirks and all. I love my child more than life itself, and every. single. exhausting. stressful. day  – I am doing my absolute best. And I don’t need to be worried, on top of everything that really IS worth worrying over, that should I post a picture of my beautiful boy doing something cute while wearing a disposable diaper, I’ll then be judged as “not crunchy enough”.  We still use cloth part time. Not that it should matter. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I don’t need to feel ashamed either when Leo falls down and needs some “ninny” to soothe the owies. In public. Around here, he’s been “too old” to be breastfed on demand for a year and a half. Suddenly I am TOO weird and “crunchy”.  There is no end to the things we as parents, and especially we as Mamas – will judge each other on. I, for one, am ready for it to stop. I’m ready to go back to just being me, and Leo being Leo, and if he’s heard (loudly) as well as seen – well, he’s a toddler, and I’m his Mama and we’re trying. And I’m ready to STOP with the judging other Mamas, too. It makes me feel icky. And I do it. It’s not enough to put ourselves out there and say “accept me as I am!” It’s pointless to demand that others stop judging us if we (as those in the RIGHT, of course) continue to judge. No matter WHAT side we’re on – vaxing or non-vaxing, cloth diapering, stay at home or working, breastfeeding or formula feeding – we WILL screw up. Badly. And we will need support. We will need each other. Deal with it.
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