MORE than 10 Facts About Me

1) We live in the South. The DEEP South. I cannot stress the DEEEEP part enough.  I’m a transplant however, so the drawl comes and goes, depending on the situation and level of stress I’m under. Which obviously means that at my in-laws, I sound like Daisy Duke and Dolly Parton’s love child.  But I digress – I realy do love it here in our little horsey town, and despite being as out of place as it is possible for a person to be in a place, I’ve grown roots. Crazy, dysfunctional, awesome roots.

2) I am the only child of “Yankee” hippie fundie missionaries. Airports are still one of my favorite places. I get all excited and hyper and just generally happy when I’m at one. Even if I’m just there to pick someone up. I’ve lived in a bunch of random third-world countries as a result of being a Missionary Brat (a childhood similar to “Army Brat” just with less guns and more Bibles) and I speak Spanish fluently. I feel like the Spanish fact should maybe be a different number, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to run out of numbers.

3) The husband I usually refer to here as “FireDaddy” happens to be an incredibly hard-working, Southern born and raised, career firefighter. (FireWife life, ya’ll!) He’s also almost my complete opposite, except for a shared herculean love of our children, Marvel universe movies, and reading. So basically, we have geek and babies in common, and it works, mostly.

4) I consider myself a “crunchy” Mama … we do the full term breastfeeding, bed sharing, babywearing, Montessori “natural” parenting thing – but it’s much less about “This how I define myself” and much more about “This is how I’m surviving this parenting gig, good vibes and high fives to you over there, surviving parenting your way.” Also, the look of confusion on people’s faces when I refer to myself as a “crunchy Mama” is always fun. Like – maybe instead of extremely crazy human children, I gave birth to little dragons who nibble my slightly charred extremities at snack and mealtimes.

5) My personal motto, besides “BACON is always the answer” and “Don’t be a dick” – is the apparently extremely controversial “An it harm none, do what thou will”.  I suppose believing that all humans should be able to screw up their lives however they see fit – and you know, love whoever they love and laugh at whatever strikes them as amusing IS radical. Or you know, basic human rights. Potato, POtahto.

6) I’m “crafty”, despite going long bouts without producing anything remotely craft related. The spark is still there, even if I might currently be too busy trying to survive life one second at a time to do anything with said spark. (Besides weakly smolder every once in a while, thanks, little Dragon children).

7) I am an absolute  screw up at life in general –  but I try not to be. Sometimes I succeed. Usually, I screw up.

8 ) I’ve discovered that I LOVE to cook. And I’m not too shabby at it, either. I’m a decent cook. Occasionally I’m a really good cook. My husband is rapidly become a better cook however (YAY firefighter life), so I’m becoming less and less “The Cook” in the house. And I have no idea why I felt this should be a “fact about me”. Weird.

9) I’m one of “those” people who care what others think of them. Despite the fact that I’m pretty much guaranteed to have at least one out of five people totally be unable to stand being around me, for various sundry reasons. One of which is probably my use of the word “sundry”. Or my obnoxious blogging, Whatever. I’m fabulous, b*tches! (That was totally fake confidence right there, by the way. Please like me. I’m fabulous?)

10)  I refuse to be cool.*

*Not that I’d have even a snowballs chance in hell of success, were I to try. I present this list as evidence. (I feel I should also add that even if my list making, rambling, horrific sentence structuring (etc) didn’t immediately render me so far out of the cool zone that I was but a speck on the cool horizon, my extreme geekiness and love of things like “My Little Pony” and cheesy YA paranormal romances would definitely do the trick. Also, my use of the word “cool”. I’m told that’s not even remotely cool anymore.)

11) I’ve recently (as in the last 4 months or so) become a hard core Korean/Asian beauty consumer/user, and it’s changed SO much more than just my skin. Like – it’s inspired me to come back here and start up the rambling again, for starters… more on the rest later…

12) In the last year (or at least since I blogged last, 8 months ago) we have learned my oldest and possibly my middle (yah, middle, as in, I’m pregnant again, too) son has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). He’s considered “high functioning”, and we’re rocking along figuring out what helps us all function better as a family and how to navigate the sometimes completely “normal”  and sometimes completely “abnormal” twists and turns parenting him – and his brothers – has taken. ( I say “brothers” even though the baby is still currently chilling in his cozy little spot somewhere between my lungs and pelvis. With my bladder as cushion/punching bag for extra comfort – for him. 27 odd more days to go, give or take a week or two…)

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